Oh Motherhood...when did you become so...
Consuming
Overwhelming
Humbling
Challenging
Busy
Exhausting...but yet so...
Fulfilling
Rewarding
Wonderful
Amazing
Extraordinary
and exciting...
I love being a mom. I have always wanted to be a mom. Some days I feel bad that my parents paid for a college education (Partly...I did have a scholarship and I did happen to win free rent for my entire sophomore year) and I stay at home raising my children. The only way I utilize my degree is when someone asks me to edit a paper, or I re-read a classic novel. I adore my life, my girls, my husband. But sometimes I feel a little overwhelmed with it all. Once you have children they become your ENTIRE life. Sometimes I wonder if I am doing everything "right". I am not perfect. I lose my patience. I don't care if the tv is on all day. Their bedtimes vary every night. I lose my patience. Ella repeats curse words every now and then. Did I mention I lose my patience? For instance the other night Madeline decided to use my pony tail to pretend she was Flynn Ryder climbing Rapunzel's hair and it hurt. So like any other mom I lost my patience. But not with Madeline. I yelled at Tom. He was at his computer not having to be on the floor keeping the girls occupied so he was an easy target. I wanted the girls to be climbing on him, not me. I even cried. So pathetic, but I did. But then I realized exactly WHY I was crying and it wasn't because Madeline hurt me or because Tom wasn't paying attention to the girls. It was because I was getting mad at such a silly thing! I am LUCKY to have two beautiful kids climbing all over me, poking my eyes and wanting me to read them stories or play dolls with them. How dare I complain about such a thing? Motherhood does such funny things to me, but one thing is for certain: I am blessed. I may not have the patience of a saint, but I sure do love my girls and I love being their mom.
5 comments:
ahh...so refreshing to read :) I don't think I've read your blog before but I'm glad I did. I'm nearly 36 weeks with my first (a girl!) and I already get overwhelmed. I can't decide if I want to stay at home or not. I too think why did I (my parents) spend SO MUCH money on college to stay home. Bringing a person into the world is so stressful!
Patience is an easy thing to loose. I loose mine all the time but I somehow always seem to find it again. You are VERY lucky to be able to stay at home with your girls a lot of women envy your "job" being a Mom is the most amazing thing but we all need a little ME time now and then!!!
education is never a waste, no matter what you do with it. i cant imagine myself without having gone to school anymore. remember when u first met me? i am so different now! and dont worry about your patience. i admire yours, since i have even less. i mean i have to do other things to keep the kid safe from me, lol. i can do 5 min of crayons or legos, and then its TV on and do something else until the little booger realizes i left the scene.... and TONS of coffee!!!!! ;-)
by the way, my aunt went all the way through medical school and then did not do her year of residency in germany, so technically, she could never practice. she left because she had her first daughter of three and stayed home the last 19 years. she is the best mom ever and never regreted it. everyone is different, whatever you want to do, its ur life and the kiddos will def appreciate it <3
You are a great Momma, don't ever question that. I think it's our job to lose our patience. We learn from it and I think our kids in a way do too (well I hope so). Great post!
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